He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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