I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
