well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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