Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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