Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
