Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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