her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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