He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The adults are the big ones right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize