She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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