Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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