I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think people are normalizing furries
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize