His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
