I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
