Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
