...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
