just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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