Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize