idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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