good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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