Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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