I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
