You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
