Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
