my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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