i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
