Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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