After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
