so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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