Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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