Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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