Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
