they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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