My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
