Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
