Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
