Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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