Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have fence marks all over my body
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
