yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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