I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
