ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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