I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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