i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
