its not stalking. its research.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
