so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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