6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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