Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
