Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
our cab driver is having phone sex.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
