I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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