I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize