you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
