What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
