Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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