You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
