Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
