I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wanna go halves on a baby?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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