I want to stick my p in your. b.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
