You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
