RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
