Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
