So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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