Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
