I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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