Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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