I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
