Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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